There are always two voices in my mind when I think about doing something new. One says that it is cool, it is necessary to do. It is driven by desire, interest and excitement. Another voice convinces me that it’s not worth risking. This voice is driven by uncertainty and fear of failure. And sometimes the fear that glory will be able to afford, and you will have to do something with it because your life may change.
And I absolutely don’t know what to do!
Three ways out
First – is to work on fear, understand what you really want, gain strength, asses your resources and then execute plans. Take responsibility for the result or its absence. Sounds good, like an adult. It is my favorite variant.
Second – is to realize desires, motives, aware of risks and understand that it is really not worth it. Not because it’s scary. But because the desire is not quite mine, for example: it is brought by a “changeable wind” of social demands and norms or parents whispered it into my ears when I was a child. Or maybe I need more resources in another case. This is a conscious refusal. I don’t do it just because I don’t want. It is adult decision.
The third variant is the worst. That’s what you definitely shouldn’t do: to give in to the fear, forget about ideas and wishes. Do nothing, suppress desires. This is the most dangerous option.
Why suppression is dangerous?
There is such an interesting thing: unrealized potential causes pain. All the ideas you had to come true were swept away because of fear and then it would appear.
A strong impulse can be suppressed, to pretend that he did not hear the call, did not feel the fire inside. Suppression can be dangerous for psyche: low mood or melancholy, depressive state, loss, unwillingness to do anything at all.
Such a scenario is dangerous because we often do not link the consequences to the root cause. It is more difficult to resolve problems when you can’t find causes. To be in a state of anguish and do not know why.
Find the forgotten potential
Every time I feel bad I ask myself several questions:
What call did I refuse? What unrealized potential is hurting me now? What did I want to do but didn’t manage due to my fear?
What unrealized projects (trips, conversations, whatever) do I have? There are always some of them. Some forgotten and repressed ideas can come to life and become a bright impulse to action again if we decide to give them a chance. Others are obsolete, almost died, and will no longer be realized.
It is important to see them, to admit, to feel sad about it or to be angry with, depending on what is inside you.
And then, as we mentioned above (the second variant): to assess motives, resources and desires – and let it truly go with the full responsibility and without suppression of.
Take care of yourself and your potential. It is worth it.